This has always been hard to write, but I truly believe you need to know how I feel.
Oct 1976 I come home from school to tell you about my big swim meet. Do you know what it like to never see my parents at my swim meets, because you’re away and mom can’t handle life? Did you ever think about how yours and moms actions effected me & the girls? No I don’t think you did.
I didn’t find out that my father, the preacher of the 1970’s & ’80’s, and my perfect mom, were getting separated, because my parents the typical ‘stiff upper lip’ Brits couldn’t tell their daughters. Life was not what it was supposed to be.
You wanted us to follow you around England, Scotland & Ireland, because that was our job, being your family. Three daughters who dressed the same, mom who helped other women more than her own girls, because that was her job, being a ministers wife.
I loved telling everyone I moved 24 times before I was 14, I was the talk of grade school, junior high, and HS, but I never thought this devastation would hit us?
Sure, I heard everyone tell me, “Why are you your Dads favorite?” I had no idea, until I overheard our good friends lecture you and tell you, “It’s not good that you can go around and tell everyone, ‘Donna is my favorite’, how does that make your other kids feel? Left out?” Your answer was, “She’s like me, strong, she has a voice, I love her go get it attitude..I love all my girls, but Donna is my favorite” Daddy, out of 5 children I don’t and will not have a favorite, you expected too much out of me, that hurt!
Then after traveling to every state and providence in Canada, YOU made the decision to move us all to the U.S.A. Did you ask us? Did you ask us as a family? I don’t remember, because you chose to take over a church where the Pastor died…but did you ask how we felt? No…you didn’t.
You didn’t even ask if we would mind taking the ‘S.S. France’ on June 20, 1968. I was sick even before leaving the port because I was so excited! Did you get a sitter so you could have taken Mom out in one of the fanciest dining adventures, but no, you left her with me, while venturing out.
God must have not been too happy, considering we hit a hurricane for the next 3 days! When Mom got sick, my sisters & me, again, you got sick out of the portal. Who cleaned it Mom!
Why mom did you always have to act like a 1950’s mom?!
Why was everything done in secret?
Dad why did you have affairs? Mom why did you allow him to?
There’s something called, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You hurt each other thinking we didn’t know the truth! We knew, well I did, my sisters pretended, like Mom, Dad would grow out of it, but he didn’t.
I could say I became rebellious at 16, drink and other drugs, but then I’d blame my self destructive behavior on ‘parents’; I think their are enough kids who do that, making parents the villain.
We are responsible for our own actions, not my sisters or my parents. I blamed my behavior for years on you two. It’s time to say goodbye to those wrong attitudes. How do I raise 5 children who grew up into 5 responsible adults and use me as an excuse? What they did wrong was they’re fault, not mine. It’s called ‘tough love!
I love my kids! They made big and stupid errors, but not my problems!
So, Mom, Dad, it’s time to grow up…it’s never too late. I love you both, you have a family, it’s time to start talking to us and your ex wife and ex husband. God will bless you, and us when we realize, not every time I say hi I shouldn’t get”Well…it’s been a hard last few months…sigh”
How about..it…I love you and forgive you, always…